Fallen, Inspired by "Hold Me Down"

If I asked the people around me for the advice they’ve always wanted to give me, it would likely revolve around working hard to achieve my dreams, being kinder to others, and being more responsible. These are undoubtedly valuable pieces of advice. However, during one of my lowest moments in life, someone very close to me taught me about the significance of trust. I had always admired his ability to stay positive despite the challenges in his life and still provide me with support and advice, even when his own situation seemed hopeless.

The album “Freudian” by Daniel Caesar found me at a time when every aspect of it seemed to fit my situation perfectly. I streamed every song on “Freudian” what felt like more than a hundred times, making it easily one of my favorite albums. As a visually reliant person, I have always found it incredibly challenging to express intense emotions with words. It was immensely comforting how this album was able to convey multiple specific emotions through its lyrics. I found myself visualizing vivid scenes, almost like movie sequences, to accompany each song. Eventually, I began correlating specific images with the music, imagining them every time I listened to the songs. My work above reflects my imagination when I listen to the song "Hold Me Down" by Daniel Caesar. When simplifying its theme, this song is about the struggles of trust within intimate relationships. Lyrics like "First you love me then you leave me on the pavement" and "First you love me then you leave me in the basement" inspired me to visualize the song as portraying someone who has fallen and feels "held down" by the lack of trust, both within oneself and with a partner.

In my painting, titled “Fallen”, I visually interpret these themes of trust and vulnerability by depicting a figure (myself) lying on the ground as if just fallen over backward. The posture and expression of the figure convey a sense of being "held down." The figure is drawn with different shades of blue colored pencil, which correlates to the “Freudian” album’s color scheme of blue. I used white colored pencil to accentuate parts of the exposed skin bathed in light, symbolizing the vulnerability that comes with building trust. When I listened to this song, I imagined a sense of static, almost as if the figure's skin glitched in moments of uncertainty, which influenced the shading technique in my artwork.

Using the shading technique of hatching, I created this piece to display how trust forms the foundation of relationships. My goal was to capture the slow and gradual process of building trust, requiring patience to carefully build layers of depth and shading in specific areas of my piece. I also utilized asymmetry by drawing the figure leaning more to one side than the other to show how the figure is being held down after falling because of her burdens. Perspective is also significant in this piece as I approached this painting from the perspective of the partner in the act of crouching down to offer comfort to the figure that has "fallen.” Despite assurances in lyrics such as "I know I’m your favorite,” it is still followed by the repetition of the lyrics "If you love me baby, let me hear you say it.” The need for validation still weighs heavily on the figure, keeping them grounded.

This album and this song have given me an outlet to understand my feelings, especially when finding the correct words to express myself is difficult for me. Being able to express intense emotions artistically, inspired by non-visual sources, and bringing my imagination into reality was therapeutic. I hope that this also brings other people comfort when they relate and reflect back on their own experiences of doubt and closeness through this artwork. 

• Artwork name: Fallen

• Song name: Hold Me Down 

• Medium: Colored Pencil